"Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.'

'We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.' 'George!"

—

"You haven't got a letter on yours,' George observed, 'I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid – we know

we're called Gred and Forge."

—

"Mrs. Wesley was marching across the yard…. Remarkable how much she looked like a sabre-toothed tiger.

'Ah,' said Fred. 'Oh dear,' said George."

—

"Oh, that,' said Ginny, giggling. 'Well – Percy's got a girlfriend.'

Fred dropped a stack of books on George's head. 'What?' … 'You won't tease him, will you?' she added anxiously. 'Wouldn't dream of it,' said Fred, who was looking as if his birthday had come early. 'Definitely not,' said George, sniggering."

—

"So top grade's "O" for "Outstanding",' she was saying, 'and then there's "A" –'

No, "E",' George corrected her [Hermione], '"E" for "Exceeds Expectations". And I've always though Fred and I should've got "E" in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams."

—

" Dudley: They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice?

Harry: No, thanks. The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick."

—

" 1st Weasley Twin: Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea.

2nd Weasley Twin: Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it. Once -- 1st Weasley Twin: Or twice -- 2nd Weasley Twin: A minute -- 1st Weasley Twin: All summer -- Percy: Oh, shut up!"

—

" It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

—Albus Dumbledore

" Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!."

—

" Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?."

—

" Right, you've got a crooked sort of cross… (consulting "Unfogging the Future") That means you're going to have 'trials and suffering' -- sorry about that -- but there's a thing that could be a sun… hang on… that means 'great happiness'… so you're going to suffer but be very happy…"

—

" Hermione: Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats, you know.

Ron: Yeah, along with the dungbeetle."

—

" Ah, of course. There is no need to tell me any more, Ms. Granger. Which one of you will be dying this year?"

—Minerva McGonagall

" Ron: Don't talk to me.

Hermione: Why not? Ron: Because I want to fix that in my memory forever… Ron (his eyes closed): Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret...."

—

" Hermione: You seem to be drowning twice.

Ron: Oh, am I? I'd better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff."

—

Harry Potter: "He called me Dumbledore's man through and through."

Albus Dumbledore: "How very rude of him."

Harry Potter: "I told him I was."

— Harry tells Dumbledore about his conversation with Rufus Scrimgeour

" Peeves: We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one, And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!"

—

" Fred: He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."

—