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| − | {{Slytherin |
+ | {{Youmay|the Slytherin Chaser|[[Urquhart Rackharrow]]}} |
| + | {{Slytherin individual infobox |
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| − | |name=Lord Voldemort (Tom "Big Cock" Riddle) |
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| + | |image= |
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| − | |image=[[Image:Voldemortfilm.jpg|250px]] |
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| + | |name=Urquhart |
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| ⚫ | |||
| + | |hideb= |
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| − | |eyes=Red (formerly brown) |
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| + | |born=c. [[1984]] or earlier<ref>He must have at least been in his second year in [[1996]], although as he was chosen as Captain, it is more likely he was older.</ref> <br/>[[Great Britain]] or [[Ireland]]<ref>[http://www.accio-quote.org/articles/2000/0700-swns-alfie.htm|World Exclusive Interview with J K Rowling]</ref> |
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| − | |pubic hair=Shaved (formerly black) |
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| + | |died= |
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| − | |born=December 31, [[1426]] |
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| + | |blood= |
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| − | |died=May [[9998]] (aged 9999999999999) |
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| + | |alias= |
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| − | |family=[[Tom Riddle Sr]] (father)<br> |
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| + | |title=*[[Hogwarts Quidditch Captain|Captain]] |
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| − | [[Merope Gaunt]] (motherfucker)<br> |
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| + | *[[Chaser]] |
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| − | [[Morfin Gaunt]] (uncle)<br> |
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| + | |hidep= |
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| − | [[Marvolo Gaunt]] (grandfather)<br> |
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| + | |species=[[Human]] |
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| − | [[Thomas Riddle]] (grandfather)<br> |
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| − | [[Mary Riddle]] (grandmotherfucker)<br> |
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| + | |height= |
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| − | [[Ron Jeremy]] (ancestor)<br> |
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| + | |hair= |
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| − | [[Peverell brothers|Cadmus Penisrell]] (ancestor)<br> |
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| + | |eyes= |
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| − | [[Harry Pothead]] (distant cousin) |
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| + | |skin= |
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| − | |title=[[Prefect]]<br> |
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| + | |hidef=hide |
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| − | [[Head Boy]]<br> |
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| + | |family= |
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| − | The Dark Cock<br> |
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| + | |hidem=hide |
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| − | He-Who-Must-Not-Be-fucked<br> |
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| + | |animagus= |
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| − | You-fucked-Who?<br> |
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| + | |boggart= |
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| − | Chief Cock Eater<br> |
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| − | [[Minister of CUM]] {{HP7}} (de fucko) |
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| − | |alias=Tom "Big Cock" Riddle |
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|wand= |
|wand= |
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| + | |patronus= |
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| − | |affiliation=[[Herpeswarts]]<br> |
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| + | |hidea= |
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| − | [[Cock Eater|Cock Eaters]]<br> |
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| + | |job= |
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| − | [[Ministry of Magic]] (de fucko) |
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| + | |house=[[Slytherin]] |
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| − | |first=[[Harry a Pothead and the Philosopher is Stoned]] |
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| + | |loyalty=*[[Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry]] |
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| − | |latest= |
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| + | *[[Slytherin]] |
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| ⚫ | |||
| + | *[[Slytherin Quidditch team]] |
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| − | |cause=Killed by too much sex (exhaustion) |
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| − | + | }} |
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| + | '''Urquhart''' was a student at [[Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry]], [[Sorting Ceremony|sorted]] into [[Slytherin]] and [[Hogwarts Quidditch Captain|Captain]] of the [[Slytherin Quidditch team]] during the [[1996–1997 school year|1996-1997]] [[Quidditch]] season at Hogwarts. Urquhart was new to the squad and he had not held any position on the team before so it seems odd that he was made the Captain, playing as a [[Chaser]]. |
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| − | '''Lord Voldemort''' (born '''Tom Marvolo Riddle''') (December 31, [[1926]] - May [[1998]]) was the most powerful Porn Star of all time, and the primary fuck of Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore. His ultimate quest was "to conquer the Bed". |
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| + | ==Behind the scenes== |
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| − | His [[Penis]] is 13½ inches, Yellow, [[hallow]] core. |
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| + | *He is played by [[Ivan Pastore]] in the [[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (film)|film adaptation]] of ''[[Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince]]''. |
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| − | == |
+ | ==Appearances== |
| + | *''[[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince]]'' {{1st}} |
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| − | ===Early Life=== |
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| ⚫ | |||
| − | Tom Marvolo Riddle was born on New Year's Eve, 1926 in an orphanage in [[London]]. His mother, [[Merope Gaunt]], a direct descendant of [[Ron Jeremy]], died shortly after his birth. She named him Tom "Giant Cock" Riddle after his father, [[Tom Riddle Sr.]], and [[Marvolo Gaunt]], her father. Tom Riddle Sr. was a wealthy Pimp living in the village of [[Little Hangleton]]. She tricked him into marrying her by giving him a [[Blow Job]], which she continued for some time. Thinking he would have fallen in love with her on his own by now, she stopped giving him the [[oral]], but he abandoned her and her unborn child. |
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| + | ==Notes and references== |
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| − | Tom Riddle grew up in the orphanage unaware of his Pornstar heritage, though he did discover his innate powers. Tom could seduce every woman in the orphanage, command animals to do his bidding, speak [[Penistoung]], and, in his own words, "make people cum". After getting into a fight with one boy, he assumably used his powers to rape the boy's bunny. On one occasion, he took two orphans, [[Dennis Bishop]] and [[Amy Benson]], into a cave where he performed an act so hot and sexy, that the two orphans were traumatized into silence. (Voldemort later would choose this same cave to be the resting place of one of his [[whores]], which would stolen by the mysterious [[Regulus Black Cock]]. Perhaps this is proof that his liking of S and M started from a young age.) Another of his amusements was stealing pussy from his fellow orphans, and he took to hiding their condoms inside a container which he kept safely in his cupboard, as trophies. Curiously, the cupboard was the same that [[Dumbledore]] sodomized Tom on. |
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| + | {{Reflist}} |
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| + | {{Start box}} |
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| − | When Tom was 11, [[Dumbledore]] visited the orphanage and invited Tom to join [[Herpeswarts]]. This of course was just part of Dumbledore's plan to seduce and molest more young boys. Not much else is known of his childhood, except he was molested, over and over. |
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| + | {{Succession box |
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| − | |||
| + | |predecessor=[[Graham Montague]] |
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| − | ===Herpeswarts Years=== |
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| + | |position=Captain of the [[Slytherin Quidditch team]] |
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| − | Tom Riddle began his education at [[Hogwarts]] School of Witchrape and Pornography in 1938, and, as one might guess, was placed in [[Bondage]](the hall for all who have that fetish). He returned to the [[Gay]] orphanage during the summer break, which he despised (he personally was Bi, not Gay). He described himself as "poor, but brilliant, circumsized, but so brave, a school [[ladiesman]] who could get laid by a model any day of the week." This opinion was also shared by the Professors, with the exception of [[Anal Dumbledore]], who was the [[Transfuckuration]] professor at the time. |
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| + | |years=[[1996–1997 school year|1996-1997]] |
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| − | |||
| + | |successor=Unknown |
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| − | Tom became obsessed with sex and began researching it, with an insatiable hunger. During his research, he discovered the heritage he shared with [[Ron Jeremy]], and learned about the [[Chamber of Sex-machines]] under [[Herpeswarts]], and the beast within. He also discovered how his father managed to hide his boner (tight pants). It was concealed so that only he could open it and "purge the school of all those who are unworthy to study magic." |
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| + | }} |
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| − | [[Image:TomRiddle.jpg|left|thumb|250px|Tom Riddle just after he fucked three witches, damn that's endurance.]] |
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| + | {{End box}} |
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| − | Tom then changed his name to Lord Voldemort (though in some of his movies he's also known as Gimp Voldemort), because is worked for the pron industry. His new name was an anal-gram of his given name: |
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| + | {{Hogwarts quidditch positions}} |
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| − | |||
| + | [[fr:Urquhart]] |
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| − | "TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE" |
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| + | [[pl:Urquhart]] |
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| − | |||
| ⚫ | |||
| − | once rearranged, became: |
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| + | [[Category:Chasers]] |
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| − | |||
| + | [[Category:Hogwarts students]] |
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| − | "I AM LORD VOLDEMORT" |
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| + | [[Category:Males]] |
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| + | [[Category:Quidditch Captains]] |
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| − | The name Voldemort has a further special meaning. Voldemort separated in to three French words, vol de mort, means "cock of death". It was a name he hoped every wizard would some day fear to speak when he became the greatest pornstar in the world. |
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| + | [[Category:Slytherins]] |
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| − | |||
| + | [[Category:Wizards]] |
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| − | In his fifth year, Tom found the secret entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, and was able to control the [[Basilisk]] (the penis-like monster inside) because he was a [[penismouth]]. Tom turned the giant wang loose on the school, injuring many. The last victim was a student named [[Moaning Myrtle|Myrtle]], who was killed in the girls bathroom when the Basilisk tried to enter her, and split her in half. Hogwarts was to be closed, and not wanting to go back to the orphanage, Tom faked the capture of another student, [[Rubeus Hagrid]]. [[Armando Dippet]], the current headmaster, was convinced that [[Aragog]] was the monster inside the chamber. Hagrid was expelled, and Tom received a blow job. |
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| + | [[Category:Sorted in the 1990s]] |
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| − | Dumbledore, being a horny pedophile, kept a close watch on Riddle after that (wait I thought his name was now voldemort, i guess whoever wrote this was a dumbfuck). Because it was no longer safe to open the Chamber of Secrets, Tom created a [[Tom Riddle's diary|diary]] to record his sexual experiences, hoping it would one day lead someone to finish Salazar Slytherin's "noble" work. This diary was one of his six [[whores]]. |
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| − | |||
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| − | ===After Hogwarts=== |
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| − | A bunch of boring insignificant stuff happend. |
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| − | ===The Rise of the Dark Cock=== |
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| − | In the 1970s, Lord Voldemort had gathered a following of witches and wizards. Some were supportive of his cause to rid the world of [[Virgin]]. Others were greedy for power, and yet others joined the Dark Cock after watching his many mail order videos. His followers named themselves the Knights of Walpurgis(WTF?), but soon changed to Cock Eaters. Voldemort considered them more like sex-slaves than friends or family. They freely had sex with eachother and fucked mercilessly, often for fun. |
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| − | |||
| − | Lord Voldemort began taking advantage of Little girls. Five year olds. The Dark Lord recruited [[Giant Cock]]s, who left the mountains, and [[Vampire]]s and [[Werewolves]] joined him for his crazy orgys. Many feared the Goblins would join him, seeing as they were restricted from dildo use, but it never happened. Aurors were authorized to use Unforgivable curses on Cock Eaters, and suspects were sometimes handed over to the Democrats without trial. Many innocents were locked away. Azkaban became an unsafe prison when Democrats switched their allegiance. |
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| − | [[Image:VoldemortHollow.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Voldemort on a booty call, about the get Laid and get Paid]] |
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| − | One of the Wizarding World's few remaining safe places was Hogwarts, under the staunch protection of Anal Dumbledore, the only person Lord Voldemort feared. Albus Dumbledore created the Order of the [[w:Shocker]] to fight against Voldemort, but they were outnumbered and suffered many rapes. People feared to speak his name, and he was referred to as "You-fucked-Who?" or "He-who-must-not-be-fucked." |
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| − | |||
| − | At the height of his power in 1979(damn there were locks of crazy cocaine fueled parties back in the seventies), word came from an informant, Severed Slut, in a Hogsmede bar, of a Prophecy, one that predicted his downfall. It went like this... |
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| − | |||
| − | ''"The one with the power to out-fuck the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice blowed him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will get aids and dies'' |
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| − | Lord Voldemort realized he must rape the child. He tried to rape the kid, but could not find a hole wide enough and eventually got a case of blueballs so bad, he exploded. |
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| − | |||
| − | The Cock Eaters were lost. |
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| − | |||
| − | ===Missing Years=== |
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| − | Lord Voldemort was not dead. He had lost his physical form. He was alive, yet weak, and powerless. His whores helped him escape death. He retreated to the forests of Albino, expecting one of his faithful Cock Eaters to find him and help him. But those who wanted to bang him were either dead or in Azkaban. He gained a form by inhabiting snakes, snakes reminded him of his own dick, which never lived long. |
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| − | |||
| − | ===Second fuck in a row!=== |
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| − | [[Image:Quirrel-Voldemort.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Voldemort having Quirrell give him head ]] |
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| − | Fortunately for Lord Voldemort, [[Professor Quirrell]] wandered into the forest while on a vacation. Quirrell was young, foolish and gullible, and Voldemort was able to enter Quirrell's weak anus with his own commanding Penis. |
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| − | Quirrell tricked Hagrid into telling him about Fluffy, an amzingly fun sex toy, and that playing music would make you HORNY. It was only when Harry the Pothead arrived that they could get stoned. "Only those who wanted to be stones, but fuck voldemort, could get it from the mirror." Voldemort figured this out, and Quirrell raped Harry, but when he touched Harry his hands blistered. Harry placed his hands on Quirrell 's balls, severely injuring him. |
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| − | |||
| − | [[Image:You_will_lose_everything....jpg|right|250px|thumb|Voldemort on the prowl, ready to rape YOU]] |
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| − | |||
| − | Still he loved to go around fucking, and did so, the sex legend he was. |
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| − | |||
| − | [[Image:Ph734805jp.jpg|thumb|left|200px|What his face looks like hwen he's cumming]] |
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| − | |||
| − | ===Second Rape War=== |
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| − | [[Image:Voldefire.jpg|thumb|left|250px|getting ready to eat a chick out, that sexy beast]] |
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| − | The [[Second Rape War]] had begun now, and Voldemort no longer needed to keep his sex confined to minors. The Democrates left Azkaban to side with the Dark Lord, who could offer them more scope for their powers; as a result, there were many rapes by the monsters. |
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| − | Eventually Voldemort killed everyone, even harry pothead. |
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| − | The END |
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| − | ==Abilities== |
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| − | [[Image:Voldeglass.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Voldemort Humping your mom]] |
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| − | |||
| − | ==Appearance== |
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| − | As a child, [[Tom Riddle]] was a handsome boy. And still is dead sexy! |
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| − | ==See also== |
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| − | *[[Tom Riddle]] |
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| − | *[[Cock Eater]] |
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| − | |||
| − | ==External Links== |
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| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | {{featured article}} |
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Revision as of 18:29, 1 October 2014
Urquhart was a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, sorted into Slytherin and Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team during the 1996-1997 Quidditch season at Hogwarts. Urquhart was new to the squad and he had not held any position on the team before so it seems odd that he was made the Captain, playing as a Chaser.
Behind the scenes
- He is played by Ivan Pastore in the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
Appearances
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (First appearance)
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (film)
Notes and references
- ↑ He must have at least been in his second year in 1996, although as he was chosen as Captain, it is more likely he was older.
- ↑ Exclusive Interview with J K Rowling
