|"There are plenty of eye-witness accounts. Just because you're so narrow-minded you need to have everything shoved under your nose before you–"
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USA VERSUS LIECHTENSTEIN was the title of a Sunday Prophet article written by Ginerva Potter and published on 8 June, 2014. The article covered the match between the USA and the Liechtenstein National Quidditch teams, part of the 2014 Quidditch World Cup.
If Muggles haven't noticed the celebrations currently piercing the Patagonian night, we must assume that in addition to being non-magical they are also remarkably stupid. The USA is through to the semi-finals of the Quidditch World Cup and as I write this report, Argentinian officials are storming through both the supporters' encampment and the players' quarters, attempting to quell the kind of jubilation more commonly associated with the final.
The US has historically put up a poor show in international Quidditch, being the only country to have embraced the (frankly odd) game of Quodpot. Today marks the US's maturation into a true force of the wizarding world's most popular sport.
Though some may suggest that Liechtenstein entered the match at a disadvantage, having competed in a three-day epic against Chad, the team appeared fully recovered as they entered the stadium. Early play was fast and competitive with Quaffle possession almost equal. US Chaser Quentin Kowalski drew plaudits from all commentators for his deft weaving and rolling, although Liechtensteiner heart-throb Otmar Frick ('The Rugged Man of Ruggell') was the game's top scorer with 16 goals.
Top plaudits must go to American Seeker Darius Smackhammer, who secured the US's place in an historic semi-final in the 148th minute. His was a daring Snitch capture that involved a breakneck dash through the cross fire of both Bludgers and risked collision with hefty Liechtenstein Chaser Willi Wenzel to tweak the Snitch hovering near Wenzel's left ankle.
Red, white and blue sparks are currently so thick in the air that it is both difficult to breathe or see. A harried official high in the ICWQC told the Daily Prophet shortly after the match: 'if this is what they do when they get into the semis, imagine what we're facing if they reach the final. I'm thinking Security Trolls.'