To start off, there are two unreferenced items in the infobox that need to be sourced.
Likewise, the second bullet point of the "Behind the scenes" section needs a reference.
Early life section:
You don't mention his parents in the Biography. Note that there should be nothing in the introduction that isn't covered in the biography.
"The Ministry of Magic discovered this, among other incidents, and presumably performed a Memory Charm on Tom." "Presumably" is very uncertain wording and suggests that this is original research which shouldn't be included in an article unless it can be backed up by significant evidence from a reliable source. So did they perform a memory charm or not? If so, what source clarifies that they did?
I'll continue reading it once you've handled these few objections. Good work so far, and sorry I took so long to get to this review! Grunny (talk) 04:24, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
I fixed everything you mentioned except the fourth bullet, as I don't see it in the intro, Biography, Personality, or relationships. If you can point it out to me I will gladly fix it. Thanks.--L.V.K.T.V.J.(Send an owl!) 01:09, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
It's in the Early life section of the biography, second sentence of the second paragraph: "When her brother Morfin noticed her interest, he hexed Tom with hives. The Ministry of Magic discovered this, among other incidents, and presumably performed a Memory Charm on Tom." I'll look over it again soon :-). Grunny (talk) 01:24, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
Early life – "made her play" is a little colloquial can you find a better way to word this? "While they were gone, Merope made her play for Tom."
The "Personality and traits" section needs to be gone over. It needs to be in past-tense just like the rest of the article, and you need to avoid speculatory wording and state only the facts. Words like "seems" and "likely" suggest original research which is discouraged in encyclopedic articles. Grunny (talk) 23:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
I could not think of a proper wording for the first objection, so I replaced it with foreshadowing for the next section. I also did the best I could on the other objecton.--L.V.K.T.V.J.(Send an owl!) 02:06, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
I reworded this for you. In encyclopedia articles it is important not to make your own assumptions as they will often be different to others. Articles should remain non-point of view and not have original research. So it is better to state facts and let the reader infer what they can from the info. Grunny (talk) 04:03, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
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