Ron: "Er, are you a talking gargoyle?"
Gargoyle: "Knock, knock."
Ron: "Who's there?"
Gargoyle: "Twit."
Ron: "Twit who?"
Gargoyle: "Sorry, didn't realise you were an owl!! Ah ha, hahahaha!"
Ron: "Are all the gargoyles mental?"
Gargoyle: "No! Don't go, I've got loads more!"
— Finding one of the five talking gargoyles[src]

The Comedic Female Gargoyle was one of the talking gargoyles in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was located on a stairwell on the third floor of the castle, just outside the Defence Against the Dark Arts Classroom. It loved to tell jokes to anyone who would listen. By the 1996–1997 school year, the gargoyle had been removed from this area of the castle.

During the 1995–1996 school year, Professor Binns assigned his fifth year students the task of listing five talking gargoyles as a homework assignment. Harry Potter located the gargoyles as a favour to Dean Thomas so that he could attend the first meeting of Dumbledore's Army in the Room of Requirement.

Like the others, casting Incendio on the gargoyle would cause it to breathe fire.

Behind the scenes

"Did you hear about the Squib who won a million Galleons and asked for it all in small change? Yeah... he was completely Knuts!"
—Conversation 1[src]
"How many house-elves does it take to feed a dragon? That depends how hungry it is!"
—Conversation 2[src]
"Ere, 'ere. Why did the wizard take 'is 'ousekeeper jogging with 'im? 'Cos it was good for 'is elf!"
—Conversation 3[src]
"How many Slytherins does it take to feed a Hippogriff? Ten. One to feed it, and nine to say that 'with their father's connections at the Ministry they could've fed it faster'."
—Conversation 4[src]